Most wedgie-themed quizzes use silly metrics like your school social status or how you handle a "missed test" to assign a result:

In the grand court of playground justice, your punishment is determined by the severity of your antics. Here is where you likely land: 1. The "Atomic" (The Ultimate Sentence)

Suddenly, the desk chair beneath him seemed to malfunction. The hydraulic piston retracted and then fired upward like a pogo stick. Leo was launched a few inches into the air. As he came down, gravity did its work, while the lamp remained firmly attached to his waistband.

"Definitely written by a bored teenager," Leo scoffed, clicking .

This sounds like a concept for a satirical "personality test" in the style of